World Watercolor Month Day 8 “Dog Tired” Shiba Inu in Paul Rubens & Der...

Goodbye Benji, Mummy Loves You and Will Never Forget You

My sweet little toy poodle, Benji passed away peacefully in his sleep while I was in Toronto last week, on Feb. 4th, 2017. He would have been 17 years old this spring, on May 31st.

I haven't wanted to write about it because I was too sad, but Benji deserves to be remembered so I am forcing myself to do this.

I adopted Benji when he was 8 years old.  His original owner died from a heart attack, and Ben had major separation anxiety when I first got him. I literally had to carry him everywhere.  I used to joke that I was wearing him, because he liked to drape himself over my shoulder and nuzzle into my neck.  He was such a sweet, fluffy little guy.

If I couldn't hold him he was more than happy to snuggle with one of my dolls. I used to make reborn dolls (dolls that look like real babies) and sell them on ebay, and they all got a Benji seal of approval, as you can see in the photo above.  That's Benji, shortly after I adopted him, with one of my very early dolls.

Benji age 8

His second owner only had Benji for 2 weeks before she gave him to me.  She said she developed allergies to him, but I suspect it was because he was stealth peeing in the house, which I found out much later.

It was easily fixed by making him a weenie wrap, lol, then covering that with a baby onesie so he couldn't take it off.  He was trained within a week...and adorable to boot.

Benji in his weenie wrap and onesie, playing with his toy

Benji playing

Benji wasn't sure if he liked having a Mom who made him clothes the first time I tried sewing the dogs a rain coat.  To be fair, none of the dogs liked the raincoats because I didn't add a liner and the vinyl made too much noise to be comfy for dogs.   I made sure the second raincoats had nice warm liners, to cut down on the noise, and they were much happier.

Dogs not liking their raincoats, lol

In the photo above, Mac (black), Ben (white) and Annie (Apricot) look miserable, but don't worry, they were happy again in minutes.   Wet poodles do not smell nice, so raincoats are a must, lol.  These are the lined ones (you can see a bit of the liner in Annie's hood).  I followed the pattern for Mac and Annie but just drew my own for Benji and his fit the best.

Ben's crocheted sweater and hat set

 Benji hated the snow so I always made sure he was dressed for the weather.  Didn't he look absolutely adorable in his sweater set?

Benji

Benji and Mac

Mac and Ben did NOT get along at first but were soon best friends/brothers.  They loved each other and are together again, at the rainbow bridge. 

Poor Mac had wobblers and 5 years ago I had to take him to Guelph for an MRI and he had major surgery on a ruptured disc in his neck.  He needed 8 weeks of crate rest afterward, and Benji was so upset that Mac was in the crate alone that I had to put a box next to the crate for Benji to lie in, right next to his brother.

Mac and Ben

It was a sad time but Mac got well again and had 4, almost 5 good years after his surgery, before the problem with his discs returned last spring.   At first, he just had problems walking more than a block, so I bought this nice stroller, big enough for both dogs last spring, and my boys had many walks together.  Ben turned 16 in the spring, and walking was just too hard for him, too, so it worked out nicely.

Mac and Benji in stroller

Benji's 16th Birthday

 The photos above and below were taken last May 31st, 2016, on Benji's 16th birthday.  You can see how frail he had gotten.  He was almost blind, his fur was thinning, he had lots of brown age spots on his back, and he wouldn't let me groom him properly any more (and the groomers refused to try), but he still loved opening his gifts, and still had a zest for life (and treats).

Benji's 16th birthday

Benji eating a bit of cream pie

 Mac, Benji, and I had a nice spring and summer, but by late summer, Mac could no longer walk.  He was in pain, and the pain meds weren't working any more.

 Sadly, there was nothing that could be done for him, so I had to have him put to sleep, just before or after his 12th birthday on August 30th (it's a blur).

 I think Benji really missed his brother, and they must be happy to be reunited now.

I didn't think Benji would even know it was Christmas this past December, but he surprised me by waking me up all through the night on Christmas Eve, eager to open gifts.

Benji in middle of night, Christmas Eve

Benji opening one of his gifts Christmas Morning

 He always loved opening his gifts, and Christmas was no different, despite his age and frailties. He dove right in, and even got the smaller gift bag stuck on his head.  He loved his gifts...especially the food ones, lol.

Benji and Dad, Christmas morning 2017

 He loved my parents and I'm glad he was with them at the end. He wasn't alone.

Benji and Mom, Christmas 2017

You can almost see the little stairs he used to get into his favorite chair on the right hand side of the above photo.  He passed peacefully in his chair.

Benji had almost 9 good years with me.  It would have been 9 years in the spring. He went from being a terrified little guy who shook and trembled to being a self confident, content old guy.

Toward the end, Benji was very sad looking because he wouldn't allow me to groom him. The vet kept him for 8 hours and could only clean up his face and butt. He told me not to try to do it myself because it was too stressful for Benji.  He also did blood work and said Ben was doing great for an old guy.  That was about 2 months ago.  

Benji  needed 3 eye drops a day for glaucoma, and pain meds for arthritis.  He had to have his food pureed so he could eat it.  He loved pureed chicken and rice, pureed beef stew ,home made chicken soup, liverwurst, cheese slices, and pureed hot dogs. (I had weight loss surgery on Feb. 1st and have to start pureed foods myself on Feb. 16th.  I'll think of Benji every time I use the blender to puree.) 

 He still liked his dog food but it had to be heated up and mashed with a fork, and sometimes I had to add soup broth to it so he could lick it up. He loved the tiny Cesar treats and even had some on his last day, shortly before he passed.

Benji  still loved his walks, and I took him out often last summer and fall.  I'm so glad I did.  He walked when he could, and when he couldn't, I pushed him in the stroller, so he could rest.  

He loved chasing the ducks and geese at Belleview Park.  He could hear them quacking and honking and it made him so lively and alert.  

I wish he would have made it to spring so we could have gone back.  I wish he would have waited until I came home so I could have said goodbye.  It was his time though, and he went peacefully of old age, in his sleep.  It's a good way to go.

Benji at the park

Benji at the beach

Benji at Mark's Bay

Benji

Benji at the beach

Benji going for a walk last fall

Rest in peace, my beautiful baby boy.  You're with your first Dad, and your brother Mac and sister Annie now.  I'll see you again one day, and I'll never forget you.

Love, Mom.

xoxoxoxo

Christmas Day 2016

We had a nice quiet Christmas this year.

It started with my little dog Benji waking me up at 3 AM, 3:30 AM, and 4 AM because he wanted to open his presents, lol.

Benji in the early hours of Christmas Morning, wanting his presents.

 I managed to get him to go back to sleep until morning. I was pleasantly surprised that he even noticed it was Christmas because he is 16 and a half years old, is partially blind and deaf and sleeps most of the day. 

Benji diving head first into one of his gift bags.

 Ben was very happy when he was finally allowed to get at his gifts, lol.  He looked adorable in his new Santa sweater.

 My Dad complained that he had too many gifts to open.

 But he seemed to appreciate them.

 The toque I crocheted for him was a bit big but fit OK.  Dad picked out the pattern and colors himself. Just about everything he owns is either blue, grey, or red, lol.

 Mom opened her presents under the tree while Benji looked on.

 She really liked the purple top.

 I opened my gifts last.  My main gift was my new exercise bike, but I also got two cute hoodies, a watch, some bath oils and creams, and loads of chocolate.

Dad and Ben

Smokey opening gifts under the tree

 Smokey enjoyed opening her gifts.  She shredded the small gift bag to get at the toy inside.

Smokey with her new musical guitar toy

We had a lovely day, and a wonderful dinner later on.  It was weird not having my Uncle Buck with us, but he had shingles and felt awful so had to stay home. It was our first Christmas without him since I was born 52 years ago, and probably longer than that (I'd have to ask my Mom).

Misc ramblings of a disorganized mind, lol

Hello,It's a beautiful, bright day today. I woke up at 7 AM to the smell of chicken soup.  It had been simmering on low in my crock pot all nigt long, and boy, does it smell good!  It's been simmering away all day long, and still smells wonderful.  I'm going to have a cup for supper, but most of it will be used to cook Mac's rice in, so I can make him more rice/chicken/yam balls.

Mac's rice/chicken/yam balls, to hide his pills.

I gave Mac his 7 morning pills, hidden in 7 rice/yam balls, and we sat on the deck to enjoy the morning sun.  Mac really loves his new pop up crate.


Mac in his pop-up crate.  Check out the big smile on his face!

It's so nice to see Mac's big doggy smile again.  He's been through so much, poor guy, but he's getting stronger every day.

I read a book about writing while sitting on the deck and was so motivated by it that I grabbed my laptop and wrote a few pages.  Not a lot, but something, enough to make me feel I'm out of the slump I was in.

Then I lost my internet connection...my new laptop has a bad habit of losing the network adaptors...they don't even show up in the device manager.  I redownloaded them all and still couldn't get it to work so now i'm on my old laptop.  It's hard to type on this one because I'm used to the new keyboard now.

I couldn't get back into the swing of writing after I lost my internet connection, so I sanded a few pieces of the Primrose dollhouse kit.  The cheap wood did not like getting sanded and it splintered like crazy, so it was back to the computer for me.  I googled, "how to sand" and somehow lost myself in cyberspace for two hours (I hate when that happens, lol).


Lilacs and apple tree in bloom.

My yard is gorgeous right now.  My apple tree is just loaded with blossoms, and my lilacs are blooming.  The one near the deck is in full bloom, but the other 5 are just starting.  The cherry tree has a few blossoms, but nothing like the apple tree.  The yard smells heavenly.

Well, I wanted to blog about my reborn but Mac is barking; I think he wants to go back outside.  I'll write more later.
Have a nice day!

A bit of happiness in a bad day

My dog, Mac had a setback this weekend, and then a bigger one today.
He had a lump on his back that was benign, but it burst open.  It was so gross.  It looked painful too.  I kept it clean until I could bring him to the vet today.
Yesterday my Dad dropped by to bring some saline solution and sterile gauze for cleaning Mac's wound.  When I went to meet my Dad at the door, I heard Mac in his crate, barking madly.  He must have pawed at the crate or something, because even though I was only gone for a few minutes, when I came back he was holding his left paw up like it hurt.
He went out for his potty break OK yesterday and this morning, and seemed OK, but then at noon he fell over and yelped loudly.  He could not get up on his own.  I lifted him up and he bolted up the ramp and ran back to his crate.  He seemed to be in pain.  I felt so awful.  Thankfully my Dad was on his way over to bring us to the vet (I can't lift him into the truck by myself).  A very kind lady in one of my yahoo groups sent Mac a special halter that was owned by her dog before he passed.  It's got handles to help lift the dog up, so it takes some weight off his feet so he can walk easier.  It was a Godsend today.  I was able to get the front part on by myself, but my Dad had to hold Mac up for me so I could get the back part on.
We went to the vet and he cleaned Mac's burst cyst and said I did a good job keeping it clean and that the outside is not infected, but it also burst on the inside, where I can't see it, and that is infected.  So he gave Mac a strong antibiotic.  I also asked for a pain killer so he gave Mac Tramadol.  He also prescribed eye drops to help clear up Mac's eye infection.
I'm going to have to bring Mac to Guelph, to the veterinary hospital, so he can get an MRI and possibly surgery.
At this point, the vet thinks Mac has IVDD, but doesn't know for sure because we don't have MRI's here in town.
My Dad is going to drive us, and my Mom is angry about that.  She'd just put Mac down, but there is  no way I"m doing that when Mac has a chance to get better.  He has a disease...maybe, and we'll deal with it.
I'm going to have to sell my house and buy a cheaper one so my money will last longer.    
          
Before Mac fell, when I just thought we had to deal with his burst cyst, I checked the mail and was happy to see a package had arrived.  

Parcel with ebay winnings

I knew it just had to contain the little tea set I won on ebay.

Parcel with ebay winnings

I took my time opening it, savoring that "ooh I've got a gift!" feeling.

It was packed nicely.

Mini tea set I won on ebay

I was delighted with it!  It reminded me so much of a childhood tea

set I had once.  Mine was a pearly pink, and this is white with flowers, but it gave me that same sense of delight.  I don't know what it is about miniatures, but they're just so darn cute!

I am really happy with this purchase.  I won the set for only $4.50, plus $1.50 shipping.  I wanted to order more but figured I should wait to see what this was like first.  Tomorrow I'll take some photos with some of the items in my plastic canvas dollhouse.  

I really enjoyed opening this, and seeing the cute items, and am glad that I had a chance to have some innocent delight in something small like this before my stress levels went back through the roof.

Well, Mac just woke up.  I have to try to take him out to pee, by myself.  I hope I can support him OK.

Mac is on the Mend

I had a scare yesterday. I took Mac to the vet and he tripped on the vet's doorstep and fell, hard.  He cried and cried, and just lay there on his side.  I had to help him up.  Then he fell again on the stupid ceramic tiles in the vet's exam room.  Why on earth wouldn't vets make sure they have no slip runners for the dogs to walk on safely.  I think he hurt himself badly at the vet.
The vet checked him and thought it was Mac's spine.  I had to leave him there for tests and I was a complete basket case.  Thankfully, the xrays and blood tests all came back good.  There's no fractures, no infection, and his discs look good.  The vet thinks he just has inflammation, which is causing pain.  So he gave Mac a shot, and sent him home with prednisone and antibiotics.  I usually get prednisone and antibiotics when I'm sick, so I feel better knowing he's taking these.  He took his pills last night without problem (I hid them under peanut butter, smeared on a dog treat.  Then this morning I hid them in his cream of wheat.  He ate them right up.  The vet said he should start to feel better within a day or so.  He went outside to pee this morning without problems, but I leashed him so he couldn't go far.  He ate and drank and I told him to go lie down and relax, and he did.  He's sleeping on the couch now. I feel so much better that he's on the couch.  I love that dog.

Needle felted Dog

Here's my first needle felted dog.